The eight stages of finishing a good book

The eight stages of finishing a good book:

Stage One, Denial:

Me: Okay, okay, wheres the missing chapter? Um. . . it can’t end there, its a mistake.

Me: NO,NO, NO! It can’t be it just can’t! It can’t end there!

Stage two, Grief:

Me: [curls up into a ball, clutching book in arms] theres, theres a mistake

Me: [cries for the beautiful book] Oh shoot, I’m going to get the book damaged with my tears

Mom: [at dinner] whats wrong with you?

Me: Book problems! (launches into talk about book problems)

Stage Three, Research:

Me:[online] Okay lets see here, any reviews up? No not yet, I’ll come back later. . .

Five minutes later:

Me: What?! Still no ones reviewed this book yet! What the heck!

Me: Thats fine, thats fine [stocks authors website for info on possible future books]

Stage four, Grief again:

Me: [finds out book is going to be a series] YES! This is the best!

Me:[reading the fine print] Wait. . .NEXT YEAR!? The next book comes out next year?! [cries again]

Stage Five, ranting:

Me:[on phone with a friend] can you believe it? Next year! And not early next year but like October next year! UGH! 

Me:[Talking to two year old brother, who we’ll call X] hey X do you want to hear about Lucia’s book problems?

X: No Lucia I play cars (or) No Lucia I watch TV

Me: I don’t care, I’ll tell you anyway [ goes through the whole story again]

Stage Six, Reading Slump:

Me: What now? What do I read? How am I supposed to read anything and love it as much as I loved this book? What was life like before I read this book? Was there even such a time?

Stage seven,visiting the library:

Me:[goes to library] I don’t think this will help. How will I know which book is good enough for me to read it?

Me:[sees book with a shiny cover] hey whats that book about?

Stage eight, acceptance:

Me: Hey this book isn’t actually so bad. I really like this, this might even be better then the last book I read.

Me:[finishes the new book] WHAT?! Thats it?!

And so it starts again.

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “The eight stages of finishing a good book

Hows life?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s